Almost There
by wellthen44
Summary: "It's okay. We're almost there. Just hang on." Sequel to my story 'One Step Closer'. Katniss and Peeta's journey through pregnancy.
1. Chapter 1

"No, that can't be right."

She shrugged. "It is."

I ran a hand through my hair. "I can't believe it..."

Peeta and I, we'd been married for five years. And may I say, they were the best five years of my life. Peeta and I loved each other very much, and we couldn't be happier together.

And then he asked me about kids.

"Peeta..." I said.

"C'mon" he pleaded. "It will be fine."

"Uh, no" I said.

"Please?" I looked at him and laughed. He looked hilarious when he was begging.

I sighed. "Not yet. Maybe in a few years."

And there I sat, a few years later, in the doctor's office, where I was just told I was pregnant.

"You're pregnant" Allona, my doctor, said.

How was I going to tell Peeta?

"Take these home" she said, handing me a small bottle.

"What're these?" I asked, still dazed by the news.

"Pills. They'll help with the nausea."

I nodded and Allona smiled. "Cheer up. Being a parent isn't that bad."

I smiled a little. "Thanks Allona."

"Just doing my job" she said. "You can go home."

I got out of the chair and walked out of the hospital.

I was going to tell Peeta.


	2. Chapter 2

**Step #31: Tell a secret.**

* * *

I opened the door to the bakery and Lynn looked up, saw me and smiled. "Hey Katniss."

Even after all those years, Lynn, Brandon and Kenna still worked for Peeta. And surprisingly, nothing seemed to change.

I heard Kenna screaming in the kitchen. "Brandon, if you don't get that fucking tray out of the oven before I count to three..." I sighed. Yep. Nothing changed.

"Hi" I said, clutching the small bottle in my hand.

She pointed to the bottle. "What is that?"

"Uh..." I didn't know if I wanted to tell her before Peeta, but...

"You can see for yourself" I said. I placed the bottle on the counter and Lynn read the title.

Her forehead scrunched with confusion. "Why would you have nausea pills..." Her eyes widened. "Are you-"

The doors to the kitchen banged open and Kenna ran out, screaming a string of curse words that should never be repeated. When she saw me, she calmed down. "Yeah, sorry bout that..." She looked at the bottle Lynn was holding. "What're you looking at?"

Lynn looked at me, as if asking my permission. I sighed. "She can look."

Lynn handed Kenna the bottle and she read it, then nearly dropped them. "YOU'RE PRE-!?"

Just then the door to the kitchen opened and Brandon walked out, wiping sweat off his brow. "Well, that took a while." He looked at the three of us. "What's going on?"

Lynn and Kenna looked at me and I sighed. "Tell him" I muttered. So much for secrets.

"Katniss is pregnant" Lynn said. Brandon smiled.

"Good for you" he said, slapping me on the back.

"This wasn't planned" I muttered, rolling the bottle around in my hand.

"He'll be happy" Lynn said with a smile. "Don't worry about it."

Just then the door opened and Peeta walked in. I stuffed the pills in my pocket. "Don't say a thing" I whispered to them. They were all smiling like crazy, trying to contain their laughter.

"Hey" Peeta said, kissing me on the cheek. "How was your day?"

"Good" I said. Then Kenna giggled.

"Shh" Lynn said. "You're gonna give it away!"

"Give what away?" Peeta asked. I gave them a look and they shrinked back.

"Uh..." Kenna said.

"Do you hear that?" Brandon said. "I think there was a noise coming from the kitchen."

"Well then, we better go see what it is" Kenna said. The three of them darted towards the kitchen door and went in before Peeta could say anything.

He looked at me. "What was that about?"

"I, uh, have to tell you something..."

"Yes?" Peeta asked.

"Peeta, I, uh... I'm... Well... We're, uh..."

"What is it?" he asked. "Just say it."

"I'm pregnant."


	3. Chapter 3

**Step 32: Stop worrying.**

* * *

Peeta seemed shocked for a minute. I just stood there, awkwardly waiting for his reaction.

"You... You're..."

"I'm pregnant" I repeated quietly.

"You're positive?"

I took the pills out of my pocket and handed them to him. He looked back at me, then back at the pills, then back at me, then back at the pills, then back at me. "Well, don't just stand there" I said.

Before I knew what he was doing, he pulled me into a long kiss.

"This is amazing!" he said. But then he realized I wasn't smiling. "What's wrong? Aren't you happy?"

"I-I don't know..." I said. "Just shocked, I guess."

"Everything will be fine Katniss" he said. "There's nothing to worry about."

"But... But what if... What if something goes wrong? There's no way to be positive that the baby will be safe and-"

"I won't let anything happen" he said. "I promise."

I nodded and he kissed my forehead. Then we heard a slap in the kitchen and Lynn peeked her head through the door. "Uh, can I have the first aid kit? A hot tray fell on Brandon when Kenna slapped him. Again."

Peeta smiled and handed her the white box. She went back into the kitchen and I smiled.

Yep. Nothing's changed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Step #33: Call your mother.**

* * *

"You're WHAT!?" Johanna screamed from the other side of the phone. I smiled.

"I'm pregnant."

"Oh my god... Who could've ever thought that you, of all people, would get pregnant?" I blushed, but was glad she couldn't see me.

"It wasn't planned" I said. That just made her laugh.

"So, now many weeks along are you?"

"Uh, six weeks." That's what Allona told me.

"And how do you feel?"

"Crappy, but... excited."

Just then I heard crying in the background. "I gotta go change Finnick's diaper." Johanna was staying with Annie for a couple of months. "I'll come see you soon."

"Okay" I said. "Bye."

"Later." The phone clicked and there was silence.

I put the phone back in the receiver and Peeta walked into the room. "Did you call Johanna?"

"Yeah, and she was happy for us" I said.

"We called everyone, but we need to tell Haymitch" he said. I flinched. Haymitch wasn't the most delightful person to talk to.

"Alright" I said, standing up. "Let's go."

We walked outside and I knocked on Haymitch's door. He didn't answer, so I just walked in with Peeta walking behind me. I saw Haymitch passed out on the couch.

"Haymitch, wake up" Peeta said. No response.

"Haymitch" I said. No response.

I sighed and went into the kitchen. I filled a basin with ice water, walked back to Haymitch, and poured it all over his face. He shot up with his knife clutched in his hand. "WHA-" He saw us. "Damn, you gotta stop that!"

"We need to talk to you" Peeta said.

"What?" he groaned.

"We're having a baby" I said.

He looked up at us. "Are you serious?"

"Yes" I said, annoyed.

He smiled. "About time. Good for you." He picked up a bottle and took a gigantic swig from it. It made me wanna throw up.

"Let's go" I said, tugging Peeta's sleeve.

"Don't come back" Haymitch said with a smile. I sighed and we walked out the door.

I took in a deep breath of fresh air. "That's better."

Peeta laughed and the two of us walked back to our house. We sat on the couch and I closed my eyes.

"Katniss?" Peeta said after a while. I opened my eyes.

"Yeah?"

"Well... I know someone else that we forgot to tell."

I sat up. "Who?"

He shifted uncomfortably. "You're mother."

My throat went dry. "I'm not talking to her."

"Katniss, she doesn't even know we're married."

I looked at my feet. Peeta wanted to invite her, but I said no and he let me. The least I could do was tell her about the baby.

"Fine" I muttered. I walked into the kitchen and took the paper with her number on it off the wall. I brought it back to the phone, dialed her number, and put the phone to my ear as Peeta watched me. The phone rang three times, then someone picked up.

"Hello?"

"Mom?"

The was a pause. "Katniss?"

"Yeah." She didn't talk, so I continued. "I... I know I haven't called..." I scratched the back of my head. "But I have something to tell you."

"What is it?" she asked.

"I'm pregnant."

There was silence so I kept talking. "Peeta and I got married five years ago, and now we're having a baby."

"Why didn't I know about this?" she asked quietly.

"I-I... I was afraid. I didn't want to face you. I thought you'd be angry-"

"Katniss, I couldn't be angry at you if I tried." She sighed. "You're all I have left."

There was an uncomfortable silence between us. Prim's death had hurt both of us in the most painful way, and we were both handling it differently.

"You... You can come visit us... If you want?" It was the least I could do. I hadn't seen her in eight years.

"Okay" she said. "I'll come in a few months."

I smiled. "I'll see you then."

"Bye" she said.

"Bye." I put the phone back in the receiver. I looked back at Peeta, who was smiling. "What?"

"I'm proud of you" he said. I rolled my eyes.

"I had to call her sometime" I said. "I won't be able to ignore her forever."


	5. Chapter 5

**Step #34: Feel nauseous.**

* * *

Against all of Peeta's objections, I convinced him to let me go hunting. I said I wanted to do it while I could, before I got all fat and couldn't get out of bed.

The leaves crunched as I stepped on them. I made my way to my hunting spot and sat down. I took in a deep breath of the forest air. It was so refreshing after weeks of vomiting and headaches.

I looked at the green trees, listened to the mockingjays, felt the soft wind, smelled the fresh earth, and knew that I was going to miss the forest. Then I thought of bringing a mini Peeta or a mini me into the woods and teaching them to shoot, swim and snare. And then Peeta could teach them to paint, bake and... be nice. That's a quality that they'd need, and Peeta would be able to teach them that better than I ever could.

I stood up and shot a few squirrels and snared a few rabbits. I put them all in my game bag and I headed to the Hob. I usually gave game away for free; I didn't need the money.

I walked through the bakery door and Lynn looked up. "Peeta, Katniss is here" she called. He walked out of the back and smiled.

"How're you doing?" he asked.

I sat in one of the chairs. "I've got headaches and am vomiting all the time."

"Aren't you taking pills?"

"They aren't very strong."

He frowned slightly and sat across from me. "I'm sorry."

I waved my hand dismissively. "Don't apologize. I'll be fine."

He nodded uncertainly, but then stood up. "I need to work, but I'll see you later." He gave me a quick kiss and walked into the kitchen.

I was fine... somewhat... not really. I just didn't want Peeta to worry about me. He was already worrying about me enough, I didn't need him to worry any more.

* * *

**Sorry, that wasn't really much of an ending, but I got a good idea of how this story is going to go, so I needed to leave it off here in order to put what I want in the next chapter... Yeah.**

**later :P**


	6. Chapter 6

**Step #35: Have nightmares.**

* * *

That night, I got into some black shorts and a white t shirt and crawled into bed next to Peeta. I got more and more tired by the day and fell asleep faster and longer than I ever did before.

"Goodnight" he said, kissing my forehead.

"Night" I muttered, already falling asleep.

I was sprinting through the trees, trying to find our baby. It was in there, somewhere, I just knew it. I ran through the endless amount of trees, looking for some sort of clue, a sign, anything to lead me in the right direction...

Then I tripped over something.

I stood up and saw it was a bundle of blankets. My heart stopped. Shaking, I slowly unwrapped them and saw that they held a dead baby, covered with thick blood...

I woke up screaming.

Peeta wrapped his arms around me. "Shh, it's okay. You're safe, we're safe, don't worry."

"I-It was our baby" I said. "It was dead."

"Shh" Peeta said, rubbing my back. "The baby's safe. Don't worry."

"But it was so real, I-"

"Katniss, the baby is fine. Stop freaking out."

"But you can never be sure-"

"Shh. You worry too much. Just try to go back to sleep."

"Okay" I whispered.

After a few minutes, I finally calmed down and fell asleep, listening to Peeta's soft and steady heartbeat.


	7. Chapter 7

**Step #36: Bleed.**

* * *

I woke up to morning sickness.

I pulled the blankets off me and walked into the bathroom, quietly closing the door. I didn't want to wake Peeta. I heaved into the toilet and flushed. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw that I wasn't looking too good.

I filled a small cup with water and drank it all. But, something didn't feel right...

Then I felt the pain.

It was like a stab with a knife, coming from my abdomen...

The baby!

But it's too early!

The pain hit stronger and I sank onto the tiles, clutching my stomach. I clenched my eyes shut and grit my teeth, but a guttural scream escaped my lips.

This couldn't be happening...

I put my hand on the tiles, but it touched something wet. I opened my eyes and stared at my hand in horror.

It had blood on it.

Another pain hit and I clenched my eyes shut, but a scream escaped me again. I heard Peeta run to the door and open it. "What-!?"

"Call Allona" I said, not bothering to open my eyes. "Now."

I heard him run downstairs and I bit my lip until I tasted blood. It hurt so much...

"We need to get you to the hospital" Peeta said, walking back into the room. He didn't sound panicked or frightened, but he probably was. "Allona's gonna meet us there." He lifted me into his arms and carried me outside. I just tried so hard not to scream as the pain got blinding. I was losing a lot of blood...

Peeta opened the doors to the hospital-

And I blacked out.


	8. Chapter 8

**Step #37: Mourn your loss.**

* * *

We lost the baby.

That was the first thing I heard when I woke up.

"I'm so sorry Katniss." Allona said. "These things just happen."

Peeta and I didn't look at or speak to each other. I just curled up on the bed and put my face in my hands.

If these things just happen, then why must they happen to me?

I was released from the hospital a few days later, just to make sure that the bleeding stopped. As soon as we got out, I walked ahead of Peeta and ran into the meadow. I ran through the grass and up the hill.

Our special hill. Where he proposed.

I sank into the grass and looked out into the distance. I just... I couldn't... I didn't know how I felt. Furious? Devastated? Terrified?

I guess a mixture of the three.

So I put my face in my hands and let the furious, devastated and terrified tears fall.

I stayed in the meadow for the whole day, but I was worried about Peeta. He wanted kids so much... I didn't know how he would be doing.

But if I was doing horrible, he was probably doing five times worse.

I looked out at the orange sun and felt a pang in my heart. I would've just loved to bring our baby to see the sunset...

"Katniss?"

I didn't turn around. "Go away."

He sighed. "I'm worried about you." Of course he is.

"Go away."

"Come on Katniss."

"Go away Peeta!" Tears started streaming down my face. I shouldn't have snapped at him, but like I said, I was furious, devastated and terrified at the same time.

He sat next to me and looked out at the sun. "Can you talk to me?"

I shook my head and pulled a strand of grass out of the ground. I tore it in half and dropped it on the ground.

"Then can you come here?"

I looked at him and saw he had tears in his eyes too. I shuffled over to him and he wrapped his arms around me. "I-I promised to keep it safe-"

"Shh" I said quietly. "You couldn't have prevented this from happening."

He nodded and we just sat there, in each other's arms, thinking about the tragedy of our loss, and if we can ever learn to move on.


	9. Chapter 9

**Step #38: Be lonely. Again.**

* * *

Three months had passed since I had the miscarriage.

Peeta called everyone we told about the baby and told them that we lost it. I couldn't even imagine what their reactions might've been, but it probably wasn't good, because he walked back into the room with a pale face.

We didn't talk to each other. He'd leave to go to the bakery at the break of dawn and I'd go out into the woods or sit in the meadow for a few hours, then come home. Peeta wouldn't come home until it was dark, and by then I'd already have eaten some dinner and crawled into bed, so he'd eat dinner by himself. Then Peeta would come into bed with me, but once he thought I was asleep, he would lightly kiss me, but not as long as I wanted him to. Then he would walk out onto the porch and climb onto the roof, staring down at the empty streets and dark houses. It was then that I'd crawl out of bed, go downstairs, quietly open the front door, walk back into my old house and go into Prim's room, because it reminded me that I couldn't wallow in my pain forever. I made a vow to myself, eight years before, to move on in life. To do the exact opposite of what I was doing.

Dwelling in self pity.

I'd stay in her room for about an hour, talking to her ghost and telling her about my troubles. How I lost the baby, how I missed her, how I missed Peeta. Then I'd sneak back into our house, crawl under the covers, curl up into a ball, and close my eyes as I listened to Peeta shifting on the roof. I didn't know what he was thinking about, but it was probably about the baby, and how he wished he could've done something about it. But he couldn't.

No one could.

And I'd feel the tears slip out from under my closed eyelids, those furious, devastated and terrified tears that I got every night. And all I wanted was for him to wrap his arms around me, tell me everything was okay, but he didn't.

He never did.

And when I woke up screaming from another nightmare about losing him and found his side of the bed empty, I'd put my face in my hands and cry some more. Because if there's anything I'd learned from the past few years of my life, it was that no matter how many tears you cried, you could never run out of them.

But, there was always that one day that we would look at each other for longer than a few seconds, both wanting to say something, but keeping quiet. Then he'd break the gaze and walk out of the room, right when I found the guts to say something.

This was our life for those three months.

And I missed my Peeta.

* * *

**Wow. That chapter was so hard for me to write.**

**Originally, I made it like twice as long, but the last half fit into a different step, so I'm gonna add to it and make it the next chapter :)**

**Oh, and sorry things have been pretty sad, but it will get better... ish.**

**You'll just have to wait to find out ;)**

**OH! And when this story is finished, I may or may not write another book...**

**We'll see. My brain gears are turning and it's looking like a 49% chance of another book, since I know how this book is gonna turn out, and I love writing.**

**And if you read up to this point in my author's note, that makes me very happy because I have a stupid fat mouth that can't stop talking...**

**Have a nice day, and make my day by reviewing XD**


	10. Chapter 10

**Step #39: Find hope.**

* * *

I wanted to do something about it.

But I didn't know how.

I supposed I could talk to him, but I was never good with words like Peeta was. And he would probably just walk out of the room before I could say something like he did before. Or I would just walk out of the room before I said something to avoid crying in front of him.

One day, I was sitting at the kitchen table, drinking a mug of tea. Peeta had already gone to the bakery, as usual. I was staring at the wall across from me while I listened to four kids playing a game with stones in the streets, laughing and screaming. I didn't realize I was crying until my tears hit my hand that was resting on the table. I looked at them, and my eyes trailed to my golden wedding ring...

I put my mug down and wiped the tears from my eyes. I put my face in my hands.

I wanted children. It just dawned on me, that excitement I had about raising our child, and the hollowness I felt when I lost it. And it would've been like proof, that we really were moving away from our past, that we could get over the fear of having our haunting past become reality.

So, what was stopping us?

Well, for one, we couldn't even look at each other for more that a minute because both of us were still mourning and too god damn stubborn to speak. Not to mention the fear of losing the baby again. If we were like this the first time, I could only imagine what it might've been like the second.

But, I wanted children, and Peeta had told me countless times that he did too...

So we should at least try.


	11. Chapter 11

**Step #40: Ask him.**

* * *

That night, I made stew (which I learned to cook a few years before, with a lot of help from Peeta), and waited for Peeta to come home instead of eating another lonely meal by myself. The table was too big for two people, let alone one.

I went up to our bedroom and put on a nice, but casual outfit; a white blouse and a purple skirt. Then I walked downstairs, set the table, sat in my seat, and just waited.

When I almost thought he was never coming home, the door quietly opened and shut. I heard Peeta shrug off his coat and place it on the hook, then take off his hat and scarf, then his shoes, and he walked into the kitchen. When he saw me, he froze.

"H-Hey" I said. Why am I being so nervous? This is Peeta!

He smiled slightly. "Hi."

"We haven't eaten together in a while, and I thought..."

"I'll eat with you" he said. I felt a wave of relief wash over me.

He sat across from me and I served us dinner. We didn't speak, just forced the food down our throats to save the night from becoming more awkward than it already was.

"Uh, I wanted to talk to you" I started.

"About what?" he asked.

"Kids..."

Peeta froze again. "What about them?"

"I want one" I said quietly, not knowing how he might take it.

He just looked at me for a minute, as if processing what I said, which left an awkward silence, which caused tension between us, which made me seriously uncomfortable. Then his face broke out in a smile, and again, felt that wave of relief wash over me.

"A-Are you sure?" he asked. I nodded.

"I... I understand why you would want one, and I want one too" I said. "But, if we can't have one, or we lose it again-"

"Katniss," Peeta said, his smile gone, "I... I wasn't being fair to you. I heard you sneaking out and screaming and crying in the middle of the night, and I didn't do anything. I was too busy feeling sorry to help you. And I'm sorry."

I smiled sadly. "It takes two to ignore each other. You're not the only one who has been avoiding."

"But, if you want this, and something does or doesn't happen, just know that I'll be there, and I'll love you, no matter what."

I smiled a little. "I love you too."

"Well," he said, leaning back in his chair. "Now that that's covered, when should we start?"

"Uhh... whenever you feel like it."

He smiled and stood up. "Let's start now."

"Pe-" He picked me up and I screamed. He ran upstairs and we locked the door to our bedroom.

Tight.

* * *

**He he he...**

**Did you like that ending? I know I did.**

**Review! :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Step #41: Try again.**

* * *

Peeta and I had been trying for three months.

After the first month, I just though that my body was still healing from the loss of the first baby. After the second month, I thought that we weren't trying hard enough. But after the third month, I thought that it was hopeless for me to get pregnant. I know I shouldn't have given up hope so easily, but three months is a long time. And it worried me, when this time we were actually trying to have a baby, that it wasn't working.

As far as Peeta was concerned, he didn't seem worried, but I could see it in his eyes. He knew that something was wrong, that I should've been pregnant already.

But I wasn't.

One day, I woke up feeling sick. I ran into the bathroom and puked. I flushed the toilet and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. I never liked vomiting.

Wait...

Vomiting?

I quietly walked back into our room and saw that Peeta was still sleeping. Thank goodness. I looked at the clock and saw he had to go to work. I sat on the edge of the bed and shook his shoulder lightly.

"Peeta," I said, keeping my voice as steady as I could, "you gotta get up."

He stirred slightly, then sat up. He looked younger when his hair was messy. It made me smile. "Alright."

We got dressed and walked down into the kitchen. Peeta made pancakes and we ate a quick breakfast. Then he quickly kissed me, put on his coat, and walked out the door. As soon as he was down the street, I ran into the living room and picked up the phone.

I made an appointment with Allona.

* * *

She stuck the needle in my arm.

I never liked needles. In fact, they creeped me out beyond belief, but this was important. I silently prayed that my suspicions were correct...

"Let me run some tests, and I'll get back to you" Allona said. I smiled and she left the room.

Five minutes passed. Then ten minutes. Then fifteen. Then twenty. My hands were sweating and I wiped them on my pants. I just wanted to get the results.

Allona walked back into the room. "Well," she said slowly, "it looks like you're pregnant."


	13. Chapter 13

**Step #42: Keep your mouth shut.**

* * *

I heard the front door open and shut.

"I'm home" Peeta called.

"In the kitchen" I said as casually as I could. I was filled with giddy excitement. I wanted to tell him so so so so bad. But it had to be at just the right moment.

"How was your day?" he asked, giving me a quick kiss.

"Good" I said. Better than you could imagine. "How was yours?"

He sat down and put a hand through his hair as I took a bite of stew. "Lynn, uh, caught Brandon and Kenna making out in the kitchen."

I nearly choked. "What the hell?"

He sighed. "The irony." He spooned stew onto his plate and started eating.

We stayed silent for a minute. I opened my mouth, about to say something about pregnancy, but I stopped. I was suddenly overcome with fear.

What if I lost the baby again?

I knew that Peeta said he would be by my side, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to be in pain. Like I said, if the first time was that bad, the second could be twice as worse.

So I didn't say anything, but just bit into my stew and nodded as Peeta said things about his day at the bakery. I decided that I wouldn't tell Peeta until there was a smaller chance of a miscarriage.

I couldn't bear to see Peeta like that again.


	14. Chapter 14

**Step #43: Tell him.**

* * *

Three months passed.

I was a wreck, vomiting and sleeping and eating, but I hid it well, and Peeta didn't notice much until month two. I remember him asking me if I was okay after I had stayed in bed all day, getting up every once in a while to retch, but I said I was just having a sick day.

One day, I was in the bathroom, looking at myself in the full length mirror, and noticed that my stomach was slightly larger. I smiled. I was three months into my pregnancy, which meant I was past the miscarriage stage.

I decided I was going to tell him.

So that night, at dinner, I made a nice dinner and put on some nice clothes. I was nervous, but I didn't really know why. I had nothing to be worried about.

The door opened. "I'm home" Peeta said. He walked into the kitchen and smiled at me. "How are you?"

"Well," I said slowly, "I'm doing okay."

"Just okay?" He sat down across from me.

"Yeah. The morning sickness is brutal."

Confusion crossed his face, then recognition. "Wait... Did you just... Am I missing something?"

I smiled. "We're having a baby."

His face broke out in a smile and he leaned on the back of his chair in disbelief. "How long did you know?"

I shrugged. "Three months."

His eyes widened. "Three months!?"

I nodded. "How come I didn't know about this!?" He wasn't angry, just shocked.

I smiled. "I'm not absolutely horrible at keeping secrets, you know."

Peeta stood up and pulled me into a hug. "I can't believe it" he said.

I leaned my head against his chest. "Believe it."

* * *

**I'm so sorry these chapters have been pretty short, but I actually just finished reading Divergent, like five minutes ago, and I must've scream OMFG like twenty times throughout the whole thing, and I was too distracted by all the stuff happening in the story to completely focus on this. I promise to try and make the chapters longer, even though I just started Insurgent...**

**Review if you like cookies. Cause I like cookies. Cookies are good.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Step #44: Relax... or not...**

* * *

I ran my hands through the long grass.

At this point, I was five months pregnant, and it wasn't very comfortable. My back hurt, I couldn't sleep, I was always hungry and I was fat. Of course, all of these were expected, but it didn't mean I was happy about it.

But being five months pregnant also meant that everyone could see it. I had to start wearing Peeta's shirts I was so fat. And of course, almost everyone would just stare at me when I passed by them on the streets. Who ever thought that I, the Mockingjay, the girl who swore to never have kids, would get pregnant?

I was too tired to hunt anymore, and I wasn't sure if I could crawl under the fence, so I walked to the meadow instead. Now I was lying on the grass and just... relaxing.

It bored me out of my mind.

I sighed and rolled over on my side. I knew that all of the pain would be worth it in the end, but I just wanted it to over already! But, you know what they say, 'all good things to those who wait'. Whatever you say.

I looked across the grass and noticed that there were two people sitting on the grass down the hill. I sat up to get a better look. One of them was a girl, around twelve, and the other was a guy who looked like he was in his late twenties. I couldn't make out their facial features much because of the sunset in my eyes, but they looked related. They were both lying on the grass on a red blanket and I could just make out what they were saying.

"Ugh. It's so hard" the girl said. "I don't know how you do it."

The guy shrugged. "It's simple enough. You just gotta get the hang of it."

The girl abruptly sat up. "Hang of it!? I've been trying to do it for weeks, and I can't even get close!"

What were they talking about?

He sighed. "Patience. You'll hit the target soon."

Target?

And I suddenly realized who the two of them were.

Posy.

And Gale.

**Okay, I'm just going to give you a moment to freak out a little. Fell free to take this moment to get a snack, smell some flowers, enjoy life, go to the bathroom, cream at the top of your lungs, throw a cat out the window, vomit, die, whatever. Now, let us continue:**

I couldn't believe I didn't realize it before. They both had Seam gray eyes and dark hair, plus they looked the same. At first, I couldn't breathe. I just stared at the two of them, laughing and talking. My head was pounding too hard for me to hear them anymore.

Because the last time Gale was in town, well... we all know it didn't turn out very pretty.

I stood up, careful not to be seen, and walked down the other side of the hill, through the gravestones, past the entrance, and ran home. I slammed the door shut, locked it behind me, and sat down on the couch.

I just... I couldn't...

Why?

I closed my eyes, groaned, laid down, and put a pillow over my face, just as the front door opened and shut. I peaked out from behind the pillowcase and saw Peeta. Seeing him made me feel worse.

He walked over to me and sat down. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Fantastic" I said. "Life's just perfect."

He laughed a little and rubbed my shoulder. "Don't worry. You're almost done with the pregnancy."

But it wasn't the pregnancy I was worried about...

* * *

After Peeta cooked dinner, we sat down and ate. I just picked at my food, not really hungry because I couldn't keep anything down, and because I lost my appetite. Seeing the person you hate the most can really make a person's stomach turn.

"Why aren't you eating?" Peeta asked.

"Not hungry" I muttered, picking at a piece of meat with the tongs of my fork.

"Well, you have to eat something" he said.

"I'm not hungry" I snapped. He frowned slightly and I sighed. "Sorry, damn hormones..."

He laughed a little. "It's fine. But can you please eat something?"

I bit into the meat and ate some, then pushed my plate away when I wasn't even half finished. But Peeta looked satisfied that I at least ate. I went to bed, thankful that Peeta didn't ask me what was wrong. I knew that he knew something else was bothering me, but he didn't try to ask, which I was grateful for. The last thing I needed was for him to get worried or angry or worse... a flashback. They rarely came, once every few months, but when they did, they were stronger. And I couldn't do much to help him.

* * *

The next morning, Peeta went to work while I just got lazy and stayed on the couch all day. I didn't want to leave the house because I felt like throwing up every time I tried to sit up but I also think it was because I was afraid of running into... him...

At one point, I was washing my face in the bathroom sink after I'd puked, and there was a knock on the door. I turned off the faucet, wiped off my face, and trudged over to the front door. I opened it-

And saw Gale standing in front of me.

* * *

**OHHHHHHHHHHHH SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAP**

**WOW, has it been looooooooooooong.**

**Well, I dk what your version of long is, but to me, two weeks is pretty long. I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while, I was just all busy and stuff and I come and I'm all like 'okay guys, let's write' and then I draw a blank.**

**BUT, I did something pretty amazing last week.**

**I finished the whole Divergent series!**

**And let me tell you, I could NOT stop crying. I read the last line of the whole series, then threw my book across the room and screamed.**

**So, to you who are reading Divergent: probably my favorite book in the whole series. If it seems slow, it WILL pick up. I SWEAR.**

**And for those who are reading Insurgent: my second favorite. Only because it emotionally damaged me at some parts which made me sad and frustrated. I finished it and was all like 'holy shit'. Keep reading, the ending will make your mind explode. Literally.**

**And to those who are reading Allegiant: I swear, when you finish, you will die. You will. One hundred percent. Your heart will stop beating and you will lay lifeless on the ground. No joke. I read the last chapter and was all like 'THAT CANT BE THE END! NOOOOOO!' And then I was all like 'fuck the world' and there isn't even a word powerful enough to describe how angry I was.**

**And for those who haven't read the series yet: READ IT! I COMAND YOU! You won't even have a life if you don't read this book. You seriously won't. You will be living under a rock, just waiting until the day you die.**

**And for those who have no intention of reading the series: Dude, I will go to your house in the middle of the night and shove the fucking book in your face and never leave until you read every single word. Every. Single. Word.**

**And for those who think I'm a creepy stalker: Just pick up the books. That's all I ask. Because you have no idea what you are missing. You really don't.**

**So, I think you can all tell that I am a sadistic weirdo, but you know what, that's okay. Because all of us are messed up, some more than others, but that's just the way life works.**

**And for those who have read this far in my author's note, I would like to thank you, because that makes me happy. *virtual high five***

**Have a nice day, and read Divergent people! XD**


	16. I AM ALIVE

I AM ALIVE! *gasps of astonishment*

This isn't a chapter, but please read it anyway.

SO: I have been doing a whole bunch of lame crap that had to be done.

1) My stupid bleeping friends made me sign up for the school play and that ate up my social life.

2) I had to finish like eight fifty billion page books, three nine thousand page essays, and billions of hours worth of pointless homework (I hate school)

3) I'm kinda on a writer's block... Don't worry I'll pull through (I'm open to ideas *cough cough* REVIEW *cough cough*)

4) God, how do I say this... One of my best friends died a few months ago from cancer and she was only twelve. Then her sister, my real real bestie, killed herself two weeks later after her fucking boyfriend did some asshole shit that I can't even tell you guys, but she was already on the edge from her little sister's death, and then low and behold the dickhead comes and she falls off her cliff. At their funerals their little brother doesn't really understand what death is and he kept screaming and crying for them to wake up and I just snapped. I was a wreck for so long, I mean, look how long it took me to post this. My friends and I don't hang out anymore, one of my real good friends moved a few days ago. I keep getting all this sympathetic shit but it isn't going to bring back the dead or make the pain less, it's just going to remind me of what I've lost. This is the prime reason I haven't updated in seven billion years, and if there is one thing that I learned, it is that depression fucking sucks. You just sleep and cry and eat and watch sad movies and listen to sad music and make sad noises and you keep asking yourself 'what did I do wrong?' and 'why am I still here?' I can't even tell you how many times I've thought of killing myself.

Wow. I go back and see how depressing that sounds and I want to make it less deep, but I'm too lazy to change that. Oh well.

But, I was sitting at school one day, eating lunch alone, when my good guy friend (btw, who I've had a HUGE crush on forever) came up to me and sat down across from me. I just pretended like he wasn't there because I didn't want to here any of his sympathetic crap. Then he threw some of the mashed potatoes in my face and I was so angry I dumped my pasta all over him and then we started throwing our food at each other and eventually we got the whole school into a food fight. The two of us and all my other friends ended up laughing our asses off for the first time in months, and it was the best day of my life. Then the principal called us to her office and gave us a shitty lecture about how 'we are civilized students and we don't shove raisins up our fellow acquaintances fat noses' and we got an after school detention. So. Fucking. Worth it.

But, that pulled me out of the grave I dug myself into, and now I really know that it gets better, even if it is by .000000000000000000001%. That much may be the difference between taking your life or living it. This must be the fattest cliche in the whole universe, but it is probably the most true. My friends and I started hanging out again, and my guy friend who I have a crush on asked me out! *fist pumps air* I still cry (a LOT), but I'm learning to move on, just a little (now I know how fucked up Tobias must've felt)

I don't know when I'll update next, hopefully pretty soon, but keep faith in me. I have my play in a few days, Wicked, and I play Glinda which is the role that my bestie wanted me to get, so I'm doing this for her. Lets just hope I don't break down during 'For Good' (she was supposed to be Elphaba...)

And do pray for my friends' family, they really need it. All that is left is their mother and their little brother (six years old) and little sister (seven years old). They are going through the worst possible shit and I want to tell them that it will get better, but I don't know if I can face them. I hope it does, it has a little for me.

Thank you for reading this, I love all of you so much. You keep me going, even if you don't review, but if you just read my stories. It makes me smile every time I see another view. I hope you'll be able to read from me soon.

With All My Heart,

Christina (aka wellthen44)(I feel like Christina from Divergent, losing friend after friend... plus I'm really tall)

p.s. I'm sorry if my rant made any of you cry, it made me use up a third of my giant tissue box

P.p.s. A little pun:

Pat: Hey, Chris! How's your new pet fish doing? You told me he was really something special.

Chris: To tell you the truth, I'm really disappointed in him. The guy who sold him to me said I could teach him to sing like a bird.

Pat: You bought a fish because you thought you could teach him to sing like a bird? I can't believe it!

Chris: Well, yeah. After all, he's a parrot fish.

Pat: I hate to tell you this, Chris, but while you might be able to teach a parrot bird to sing, you're never going to get anywhere with a parrot fish.

Chris: That's what you think! He can sing all right. The thing is, he keeps singing off-key. It's driving me crazy. Do you know how hard it is to tuna fish?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Get it? Get it?


	17. I'm back :D

**Something amazing is happening here. IM ACTUALLY UPDATING!**

**So, I was thinking about this story today and I re read the last chapter (I may or may not have forgotten what happened...) and I had no idea whatsoever how to continue that. So... I made a Peeta POV! I planned to make this story all Katniss but... Oh well.**

* * *

**Step #45: Resolve _most_ of your issues.**

"Awe, come ON!"

"What!? What did I do wrong _this_ time!?"

"You know very well what you did wrong! You are deliberately trying to mess with me!"

"No, I really don't!"

"You're kneading the dough all wrong!"

"No! This is how we're supposed to do it!"

I rubbed my temples and turned to Lynn who started banging her head on the table.

"I'm surprised you didn't quit yet" I tell her.

"Trust me. I've considered it."

I looked at the clock. 10:22. Seven and a half more hours of this.

Yay.

Don't get me wrong, I loved to bake. It was just a certain two people that I worked with. And I'll tell you right now, this didn't include Lynn. She was going crazier than me. No, seriously. I was starting to worry about her.

"Peeta?" she asked.

"Hm?"

"Why haven't you fired them yet?"

I considered this for a moment, and came up with nothing. "I don't know."

She sighed and slumped down onto one of the stools. There were no customers and I was sitting with Lynn to keep her company behind the register. She could've worked in the kitchen, but I think she would've needed serious psychological help if I put her through that torture. And I definitely knew what torture did to a person.

The bell above the door rang and Lynn and I looked up to see a girl, around twelve years old, standing in the doorway. She looked oddly familiar...

"What do you need?" Lynn asked kindly.

The girl shuffled forward and put a few dollars on the table. "I need a loaf of bread."

"Okay," Lynn said. She took the money and walked into the kitchen where a lot of yelling was going on.

The girl looked at me quizzically for a minute, then looked away. I couldn't place who she was...

"What's your name?" I blurted out.

Her head snapped up. "What?"

"Never mind" I said, and then things were quiet again.

Lynn walked back into the room with a wrapped up loaf of bread and handed it to the girl. "Here ya go."

The girl smiled. "Thanks." She turned and walked out the door. I just sat there for a minute, looking in the direction that she walked off when someone snapped their fingers in my face.

"Earth to Peeta!" Lynn said. I looked at her.

"Sorry" I said.

Her eyebrows creased. "What's wrong?"

"That girl. She looks familiar, but I can't place it."

Lynn stares at me for a minute. "I saw her walking through the town yesterday."

"Really?"

"Yeah. She was walking from the woods with a bow and arrow and a game bag."

This caught me off guard. "I thought Katniss was the only person who went in the woods."

"That's why I'm telling you."

It was weird enough that she was coming from the woods, but with a game bag and a bow and arrow, that's not normal.

"Was she with anyone?" I asked.

Lynn nods. "Yeah, some guy in his twenties. Probably an older brother or something."

Older brother? He was probably the person who told her about the woods...

And suddenly, it hit me like a sledge hammer to the face.

"Posy."

Lynn turned to me. "What?"

"Her name is Posy."

"Wow. That was fast."

"And the other guy was Gale."

"Gale..." she repeats. "Isn't he that guy from Two who came here a couple years ago and-"

"Yep."

"Oh." We were quiet for a minute. "What do you think he's doing here?"

"He's probably visiting his family" I said. A part of me wanted to say 'And Katniss'.

Oh god.

_Katniss._

She most definitely won't be happy to know that he's here, especially after what happened last time. I almost lost her.

The doors to the kitchen swung open and the screaming gto louder. I groaned and covered my ears, but it did little to help.

"You don't do anything right!" Kenna screams.

"That's because you're always distracting me by telling me what I'm doing wrong!" Brandon says.

"ENOUGH!" Lynn screeches. Goodness, that girl has volume. We all looked at her in shock. That was so... so un-Lynn like. I guess she was fed up. Like me. "You two have serious issues."

Kenna huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. "I do _not_ have issues."

"Yes you do" Brandon said.

Kenna glared at him. "Look who's one to talk."

"Stop it!" Lynn said. "You two are going to sit down and aren't going to go anywhere until you solve this... weird conflict you guys have. One minute, you're making out, the next you're so loud you could wake the dead!"

I smiled and stood up. The three of them started fighting with each other. So much for resolving conflict. I went into the kitchen and started making some dough when the phone rang. I picked it up.

"Mellark Bak-"

"Peeta?" It was Katniss.

"Katniss?"

"Yeah." She sounded like she was crying. I imagine the worst.

"What's wro-"

"Can you come home?"

"I can't-"

"No, it's an emergency!"

"Katniss, what-"

She screams.

And the line goes dead.

* * *

**Ha. Another cliffy. Sucks for you.**

**I promise promise promise promise PROMISE to update soon. No more than three days. If it's longer than that, you can just assume that I a) forgot, b) had a ton of shit to do, c) was working on my other stories, d) died, or e) the government found out I am an alien and kidnapped me so they could cut me open, which leads back to option d).**

**Lots of love,**

**Christina**

**p.s. Don't look to the right - you little rebel you**


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